Dissolve

It takes about three weeks
for your family to dissolve.
It starts with a death.
Someone strong that held you together will pass
& then the vultures and the buzzards come out of the woodwork
wanting their piece of the cut
and when there isn't a cut, they don't accept it
Instead they seek high power lawyers and waste
time and money
They waste precious energy
they tear you down, no matter how strong you think you are

Then you'll wake up one morning,
and pulling out of your driveway, there will be two crows
leering at you from your neighbor's tree
the tree you hate because it litters your yard with leaves
when you don't even have a tree
The tree you curse every Spring, rake in hand
these crows will look at you through their beady black eyes
and translate that your world is going to come crashing down

You know it, but what can you do?
You drive on to work anyway,
maybe more carefully than you would typically drive
and you wait
You wait on whatever it is that's coming

You've got plans you're looking forward to
and at around noon, those plans will be canceled by
a crying, inconsolable cousin
who tells you that her daddy is cheating on her mommy
her daddy and mommy who have always been a set of second parents to you
her mommy who took care of the one that held it all together
and is already vulnerable and depressed
who just turned 50 on Tuesday
who the plans were for, to celebrate
who just this year, will celebrate the 25th anniversary of marriage to
the daddy figure, who cheated on her after she spent exactly half her life with him
cheated with someone young enough to be his daughter
cheated with someone as old as their marriage
and she will tell you that
She just wants to die
that if the youngest daughter was through with college that
she'd kill herself.

And you've got all this on your shoulders
and you weep yourself to sleep
after spending hours on the phone with her
pleading her to not be rash
telling her what she has to look forward to
and she'll break your heart to pieces by telling you
"I used to look forward to him,"

And you'll plead with your husband
to never put you through this
and your husband will promise, over cheeseburgers
that he's not like that
and then he'll ask you if you still love your uncle
and when you shrug he'll berate you for being so cold.
He'll tell you that most people can't turn off their love switch just like that
and tell you how sadistic you are for finding enjoyment in cursing out the florist.

And you tell him, between mouth fulls, that it takes about exactly three weeks.
Three weeks for your family to dissolve.